Unpacking the Layers

Yin, Svadhaya and the Rebellion of Stillness

Pride month, like most other times of the year, is loud, fast paced and a the very much yang energy of be loud, proud and fight for your truth. Yes the first pride started with a riot, but what if in 2026, we invite a bit of rest. Let’s chat friends…

Now, I want y’all to know I personally enjoying being very loud and proud during pride month (and all months) because I am very much proud of who I am and to be honest i lived way too much of my best years in a quiet corner trying not to rattle any fkn cages. So loud and proud is great in my opinion. However I think we can all agree that when we are loud and proud as queer, polyam, trans and just in general “different”. There are those times where we just experience.. exhaustion. And really these are the times that our system is giving us a gentle invite to pause and stop the movement. To sit in a moment of deeper self discovery. It happens when we allow that stillness.

Yin is a style of yoga, yes, but its much more than that. And as a lifestyle with the practice of svadhaya (self-study), we have a combination of yogic tools that can support us in unpacking out real identity without the pressure to “perform”.

Svadhaya (Self-Study) in the Shadows

In my own words, i would define svadhaya as a practice of sitting with yourself. And in all ways, not just having that beautiful moment of peace when good emotions come in waves but also sitting in that intense discomfort that comes with the negative emotions like anger, fear and frustration. It’s being able to see yourself in the most authentic form and not necessarily try to fix shit, but to see it. Acknowledge it and attempt to make peace with it. Why? Well because healing isnt really fixing, its simply uncovering the uncomfortable parts of yourself and loving YOU anyway. But that takes a lot of practice… such is life.

For me, the real lesson in self-study came up in my 200HR initially. We had a week of “silence”. Now this was 2020 so covid times and we couldn’t really head to the mountains for pure silence. But we would intentionally try to speak less, listen more and see the space we could create. I ended up journaling a lot that week. Realizing that even though my friends knew I wasn’t straight, the rest of the world believed I was straight, monogamous and identified as a woman. Hell, sometimes I thought the same. But I knew… something didn’t really feel… right. But after this I admitted publicly these truths. Then I decided to start the yin course and I ended up realizing what would come up when I created space through breath and stillness. I really began to see where I coul pay closer attention in all ways. And for me, it felt like this pairing of self inquiry in a yin posture was GOLD. So that shaped my practice and my teaching for quite some time.

Yin as a Life Philosophy, Living off the Mat

In life we very much are encouraged in so many arenas of life outside of even fitness, that we should “push through pain”. (There is where we need to return to the practice of Ahimsa from the previous article). Yin invites us to do quite the opposite. As a practice that invites us to take a pose, get into it and go to our “edge” and hold stillness unless either pain arises or we are invited to deepen the pose from the body that has created more space, it also invites the same in life. Yielding, Obserrving and finding that edge when we are at work or engaging with loved ones. Even in our intiamte relationships. This shows up in our real life in many ways.

Say you have a disagreement with a partner. Taking a moment to pause and reflect before reacting immediately is very yin. It allows the nervous system permission to just BE and/or it gives you permission to not self abandon for another’s comfort ( at the sake of your own discomfort). Holding a yin pose on the mat is like holding space for your own evolving and ever changing identity. And yes this happens for humans in general and for some more than others depending on how much of the “Real you” has been suppressed. When we sit in a yin pose, first its uncomfortable af usually, especially as you find the right support with props to make it feel better). Your mind and your body say HELL NO, let me outta this immediately..haha. But eventually the deep connective tissue (and your soul) start to let go. This is how we start to release what the body has been holding on to from past trauma.

The Quiet Pride that comes with it…

I mean in the end, for me.. I have been able to make peace with the limitations of my physical, mental, emotional and energetic bodies. I now know who I am and love all parts of me. Even the bits I am still desperately trying to understand. Becuase we can’t heal or teach effectively if we can’t learn how to sit with ourselves. This is what a self-help book can’t teach you. Yin is a deep study within. It is a practice that can give you so much information about the topic.. which is you. If you are ready to dive deeper into Svadhaya, nervous system regulation and do some deeper inner work to find yourself and your super powers. Drop a comment below. Yin: Sensation & Stillness 50HR course is coming this fall. I’d love to see you there my friend, if it feels aligned.